I’m also a 29 year old bi guy. I happen to be married to a woman who knows I’m bi and is supportive of it. Contrary to many perceptions (not around here I know, but generally) I am in fact totally bi and totally monogamous. I’m also not trying to “hide” by marrying straight to avoid the difficulties of being bi/gay. That’s all just by way of introduction.

The point of my comment is to thank you for your excellent reply to Michael. I think that people too quickly overlook that transsexualism isn’t really about sex at all, it really is an issue of gender and gender identity. I’m not transsexual, but know people who are and have been involved in conferences, etc. where the issue came up and this common misconception does a lot to hurt the transsexual movement for acceptance.

Anyway, just found the blog, happy to have some new reading material on a topic that means a lot to me. I’m also very happy to see that the author is so level headed and respectful.

Thanks.

i am a 36 year old bisexual male living in the states a professional in the arts, and i have essentially lived a life of utter ups and downs of self confidence - that i know i am real, and self doubt - that i am not so sure my feeling are real, that perhaps i am another false bi statistic that most straight/gay people want to keep believing - that i get ground down under the endless pressure that one is only 100% gay or 100% straight. and bisexuality is: an amalgam of every negative stereotype, that we have all heard a million times.

it still amazes me that in this day and age that we live in, there is such a strong hold to cling to a binary mindset about most issues of the human experience. it is ultimately politics that require this kind of black/white either/or attitude, due to the fact that for so many years non-heterosexuals have had to assert that they in fact are real into the world - it could be argued that political movements require one-liner slogans that are definite and black/white(i simply frame how i can see that the fluid nature of a bisexual identity may be inconvenient within a political movement that is trying to assert its reality to the straight world. a straight world that is having a hard enough time grasping homosexuality, and perhaps can accept it if it becomes the same mainstreamed mirror of its own image - life in the burbs w/ marriage and kids perhaps).

but it amazes me how predictable the human condition is to want to repeat itself (the revolutionaries will become the next oppressors, and on and on). the fact that so much of, what i will call “main stream gay” culture is repeating the very cycle of; denial, rejection and suppression of bisexuality - that they themselves had to endure and break through.
i do believe the ’sexual liberation’ civil rights movement, was about “SEXUAL LIBERATION” not conformity to yet another codified identity.

what makes it so incredibly painful, at times only, to be bisexual, is that there is always this sense deep down that maybe it is all false, because you are constantly seeking others who are like you. you are constantly looking for the image in the world to verify your experience, and it is simply not there. there are very few positive open male bisexual role models, which makes it tough. and as you blogged, you become tough and independent minded to survive.

sadly, male bisexuality as an identity has only been demonized in our pop culture, when in fact it has always been there from the beginning of humanity. it is a fact, as you point out that it has always been present in the animal kingdom as having had expressions in almost every culture within every continent throughout human civilization. sexuality never comes and goes, but the ‘fashions’ of sexuality go in and out of style from era to era.

i only carry on and hope that eventually there will be enough critical mass of people who are visible that it will truly appear that we are in fact real and present and prepared to help shift the attitudes of the day and help create a truly sexually liberated world.

thanks for your blog as it is helpful to me for sure. i live for these moments when i hear a motivated voice that sounds like me. i need that for my psychic health.

i would be interested in maybe contributing some more writing if you are interested. i will check back later in a few days and see if you would want to contact me about that.

with kind regards, christian

I think your feelings about transsexuals are perfectly healthy. I mean what guy wouldn’t want a pair of tits for the day? I’d never leave the house if I had a rack of my own.

Probably a bad idea to get a pair then. I’d never get any work done.

Seriously though, I think a lot of people would think that a pre-op (or no-op) M2F Transsexual would be on paper at least a bisexual man’s dream. The realities however, I suspect would be very different, female hormones don’t do much for the male libido.

What’s more we’re predisposed to talk about transsexuals in terms of “Shemales” and “Ladyboys” which is a result of conditioning by the porn industry, it leads us to rather selfishly assume that transsexualism is about sex when really its about gender.

In my rather limited real-world experience Transsexuals do not want to be identified as hemaphrodite sex-objects but instead are trying to gain acceptance as a member of the gender they self-identify with.

Lately I’ve had a real attraction to shemales, some of them look really hot and I think part of my attraction stems from some inner desire to want to try it out myself, without really trying it out forever. I don’t think I ever would, but some of these ladyboys look just like women with the only difference being well.. you know.

I think part of my desire lately also stems from the fact that my current girlfriend is having vagina difficulties lately. Pain, bleeding, discomfort, that area can be really sensitive and even if we can be understanding as guys, it’s kind of depressing when you can’t get it because she either isn’t enjoying it or going through something at the moment.

have you just started this blog? This seems really interesting and promising!

Who are you and what do you do, if I may ask?

I am a bi guy, not really out but not ashamed at all. 31, grad/med student in Cambridge MA. Pretty sexual and with a sexual past of “have had sex with more guys than girls but have had much more sex with girls than with guys”.

Exploring male bisexuality is really NEEDED. I ll be happy to help.

wrte me some lines on you, if you can. i ll be happy to exchange further.

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