Bi The Way

I was reading a post on Lesbian Said What about Religious intolerance and amongst the comments was a post by some character called “Sane” who struck me as being totally insane. His argument against Gay Marriage was so laughably bigoted I had to repost it just to be sure I inhabit the same world.

“Sane” cites an article which is a synopsis of a book by Dr. James Dobson, called “Marriage Under Fire”. Dobson, a homophobe and evangelical Christian seems to be pretty dumb for a guy a with a PHD in psychology, so sit back and enjoy as a lay university drop-out (ie: me) savages his arguments. Which for the record, can be found here: http://nosamesexmarriage.com/marriage/nogaymarriage.php

Argument #1. Same Sex Marriage Decays Families

Dobson cites the example of Scandinavia where half of all children are born out of wedlock. OK - what has this got to do with same-sex couples? After all same-sex relationships don’t produce children! I think we can squarely lay the blame for this statistic on the straight community.

Argument #2. Gay Marriage Will Lead to Polygamy

Actually this hasn’t proved to be the case at all. Gay marriage and civil partnerships where available, have largely been taken up by monogamous couples. We’ve had several years of legal “gay marriage” in various countries and to date, no-one has ever been charged with Polygamy, ie: marrying more than one person, (an offence under UK, European and US law) whereby the offender was married or in a civil-partnership with someone of the same sex.

To be honest Dobson here I think is confusing polygamy with polyamorous relationships, and as I’ve already stated it tends to be monogamous couples who take advantage of civil partnerships or gay marriage. The incidence of married polyamorous gay couples seems to be about the same as the incidence of polyamorous straight couples. Don’t believe me? Join a swingers club.

Argument #3. States Will No Longer Protect Marriage

Actually legalising gay marriage is all about protecting partnerships and giving gay, lesbian and bisexual couples the same legal rights as straight couples. How can we accused of undermining marriage when we are actually trying to encourage it?

Contrary to Dobson’s theory that it will make divorce easier. As far as gay marriage its concerned when it comes to divorce settlements, it actually makes it harder for gay couples to separate without financial consequences and gay-marriage actually rewards same-sex couples for staying together.

Argument #4. Children Will Be Taught Perversion

I choked on my cocoa when I read this one… Homosexuality and Bisexuality are not perversions. What gives Dobson the right to declare it so? Its such a backward view I almost can’t believe its been published, its right up there with the view that “the world is flat.” Dobson is a psychologist, so I’ll counter with the view of a far more respected and eminent psychologist, namely Sigmund Freud. Freud believed we were all inherently bisexual and that it was societies norms and expectations that made us predominantly straight. If you define perversion by what is ‘normal’, as opposed to what is ‘natural’, then Dobson may have a point, but I’ll opt to respect nature over societies social constructs, when I start to describe things as perversions.

My increasing opinion is that Freud was right and heterosexuality is a perversion of nature perpetrated by society and religion. Children aren’t born with prejudice, they get that from adults, so by teaching them that straight is great and queer is weird I think we are perverting their minds.

Argument #5. Children Will Be Placed in Gay Households

So what? Gay and Bisexual people have been parenting children since time began, especially in times that didn’t allow them to be open or honest with themselves or others about their sexuality. Over half of my gay and bisexual friends are parents. Their kids are fine.

Oh and please don’t think this is a contradiction of Argument #1. Gay people produce kids, not same-sex couple’s… can all the small minded bigots out there keep up?

Argument #6. Parents Will Be Required to Accept Homosexuality in Their Children

Er… yes that’s the general idea… In particular Dobson seems to reference foster parents of gay children, who will aparently have to undergo “sensitivity training” so they can be accepting of gay youths. You know what I think? If you need sensitivity training to accept LGBT teens, you shouldn’t be a foster parent!

Argument #7. Gay Partners Will Burden the Government Entitlement System

I love this one… its so ill thought out, its like a lazy slow ball begging to be hit out of the ground. Dobson wants us all to be straight, so in his utopia there will be 6 Billion straight people all wanting to get married and have two point four children under wedlock. Each couple claiming benefits under government entitlement systems for married couples.

Until recently people in same sex relationships have been letting the government off the hook. Their “gayness” was a get out of jail free card for the benefits system. Imagine the burden the system would be under if all these gay, lesbian and bisexual people went straight. Could you imagine the claims?

Instead, we opted for Gay Marriage… Why? Because its cheaper!!! Yes thanks to Gay Marriage, same-sex couples have the same pension rights, and tax allowances as straight couples, but as we’ve already established gay-couples don’t produce children, so the government doesn’t have to pay for paternity leave, both partners can invariably remain in full employment for their full working lives and actually contribute more to the treasury in terms of income tax and social security than a straight couple. Best of all due to the absence of children they can at the same time be less of a burden on the system.

Argument #8. Gay Marriage Will Spread Quickly to Other Countries

Good. What’s the problem again?

Argument #9. Evangelism Will Be Hindered

Again Good. What’s the problem with that? If this is the kind of thoughtless bullshit evangelism produces then frankly its rather hindering itself without any help from the LGBT community.

Argument #10. The Culture Will Be Anti-Christian

Yet again good, though more specifically culture will be anti-Abrahamic religions, which include Judaism, Islam and Christianity. In short, more secularism. Great! Sorry, but I just don’t see any of the last 3 points as a negative.

This is intended as a scare tactic to mobilise the zealously religious parts of the USA, politically being “Anti-Christian” is almost as bigger slur as being a “liberal”. But frankly I don’t have a problem being “Anti-Christian” if being “Pro-Christian” means I have to be bigoted homophobe that believes in the rather dubious morality of the Old Testament. Which for those of you who don’t know is where the Christian prohibition of homosexuality originates, along with other such gems as executing children who curse their parents, stoning adulterers to death and massacring women and children. Yep its all in the old testament. Yet curiously the only part of it which hasn’t been disowned by the church is the bit about homosexuality.

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OK - How did I do?

I’ve previously commented on how children are often denied access to information about homosexuality and bisexuality. This is particularly true in the US and to a lesser extend in the UK where homophobic bullying still blights our schools.

Still I was informed that in Norway they have a more enlightened approach. Apparently, Skeiv Ungdom, a Norwegian gay and lesbian support group had a video produced to promote their telephone support line to gay and lesbian teenagers. A quick search for “Skeiv Ungdom” on YouTube and I found the video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoSchpHLgvA

I think its a great video. I really think something like this ought to be aired in Britain. It really sends out a positive message about homosexuality and also emphasises that things aren’t always what they seem. Which will certainly speak to a lot of bisexuals.

I should also point out that the entire crew worked for free to produce this 60 second short, so good on them for showing support. Enjoy…

Announced as “quips, tips and lists for those who go both ways”, The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe, is a fun, irreverent and witty take on bisexuality. Packed full of feel-good bi philosophy and clever put downs for the straight and gay nay-sayers, this is not a book that takes itself too seriously. Nor can it be with 22 pages dedicated to lists of ‘famous fence-sitters’ and a further 18 pages on bi movies, television programs and cartoon characters it really can’t afford to be.

This book contains everything you need to know to be a ‘good bisexual’ including quizzes to help you test your bisexual prowess. Not that the author’s intend you to take this seriously, this is purely and simply a fun book, in stark contrast to the occasionally dry and overly serious Bi Any Other Name.

The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe, is bi-pride for the T4 Generation, from helping you identify your bisexuality - to getting clued up on bi-trivia - to finding a date and even organising a threesome, this book has it all and nothing at the same time. Its self-depreciating style often encouraging you to take most of its advice with a pince of salt.

You can’t criticise this book because its not meant to be taken to heart, its a laugh, a buzz, a feel good book, and you know what? Its pretty good.

To purchase at Amazon.co.uk click the link below:
The Bisexuals Guide to the Universe

Authors: Nicole Kristal & Mike Szymanski

ISBN-10: 155583650X
ISBN-13: 978-1555836504

Sometimes, I suffer for my sexuality. You won’t believe it, but I just had a request to use one of my photographs (yes I’m an amateur photographer) as part of the cover design for a new David Wilkerson book. And I turned it down.

For those of you who don’t know him David Wilkerson is an evangelical preacher who has written at least 9 books I know of, the most famous being the The Cross and the Switchblade. He is also the founder of The Times Square Church in New York City. Wilkerson runs a prophetic ministry and he believes that greater acceptance of homosexuality in society and within the church will spell disaster for America and the world.

In spite of being a bigot and a homophobe, Wilkerson’s books sell millions of copies. If my photo was to be used I’m sure I could have commanded a small fee to say the least. From what I understand market price for a cover photo is about £500. Even a credit line for a cover-photo would have been gold dust, what better way to launch a new career than to have your photo used on the cover of a bestseller?

But fuck that, I’ve got principals, I’m not going to sell out to the Christian Right by having my work adorning the cover of yet another book that tells me my sexuality is sinful. Even though I really could use the money.

Anyway, I include a low-res copy of the photo in this post. Its a photo of the Chrysler building in New York. Personally I think I have two better shots than this one, but if anyone is interested in using it as a cover shot on a book that doesn’t promote a socially conservative Christian agenda, then I’d be happy to give you a discounted rate.

PS: Photo is copyright me (c) David Parkes 2005 All rights reserved.

I freely confess, I’m a bit of a bookworm. So I figured I’d write a series of articles about interesting books I’ve read about bisexual culture.

The first book on my list is “Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out” which is a collection of essays by over 70 bisexual writers, both male and female, which has been complied and edited by Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu.

First published in 1991, for years it was one of the only literary resources available to bisexuals, and whilst it has a notable bias towards female bisexuality, male bisexuality is far from ignored.

Its structure of short contributions from bisexual people from different walks of life are expressed in poetry, prose, art and short essays. It covers a range of topics from personal to political to spiritual. This means that there is almost certainly something for every bisexual in this book.

I liked this book, mostly for the shear sense of community conveyed by its multiple authors. It is after all a community effort for the bisexual community and that in itself deserves kudos.

Undoubtedly you will find yourself more engaged by some authors than others, just as I was, but the nice thing about the short essay structure is the ability to skip an essay without ruining the thread of the book.

Yet there is a story of bisexual awakening to be told in this book and its told by the skilful editing of Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu. Which ensures that whilst no author has the “floor” for more than a few minutes, there is a fluid transition between one author and the next, and the book when taken as a whole speaks with a louder voice than sum of its individual contributions.

In my opinion, if you have never read a book about bisexuality then this should unquestionably be your first.

You can Order Online at Amazon.co.uk and from other good book stores, price: £9.99.
ISBN-13: 978-1555831745.