Comments on: Bi Now, Gay Later: Staring Down a Myth http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2009/03/15/bi-now-gay-later-staring-down-a-myth/ An exploration of male bisexuality Wed, 01 Feb 2012 20:45:38 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Eric http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2009/03/15/bi-now-gay-later-staring-down-a-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-5865 Eric Tue, 02 Jun 2009 14:39:56 +0000 http://www.bitheway.co.uk/?p=264#comment-5865 If only people thought it meant gay-lite or hell even straight-lite. The majority of people think bisexual and think about adultery. They can't figure out how a bisexual can be happy in a monogamous relationship. That leaves bi-sexual men and women with bad wraps. Its actually easier for women (I'm not being sexist) because most straight guys go a long very easily with the bi girl fantasy. Most straight girls don't go along with the bi guy fantasy though, not saying some aren't totally into it. So, the questions you need to work out is how you can be both bisexual and in a committed relationship. Not all committed relationships have to be monogamous (personally I think monogamy is whack and honesty about who you play with and safe play is key), but that is where you really need to keep the lines of communication open. Also, you have to not delude yourself about rather you will be happy in a same sex or different sex coupling that is exclusive. On top of all of this, it probably doesn't help that a good 50% (or more) of gay guys would love to be able to have the straight life and the stepping stone for a good 90% (or more) of gays coming out is to say they are bisexual first. I guess, people just don't understand that you can be totally into both. People like Jenna Jameson and Tommy D XXX do it every day, but in the real world, most people look at the fact that you can be with a woman and think you should be on both the gay and straight side of the aisle. If only people thought it meant gay-lite or hell even straight-lite. The majority of people think bisexual and think about adultery. They can’t figure out how a bisexual can be happy in a monogamous relationship.

That leaves bi-sexual men and women with bad wraps. Its actually easier for women (I’m not being sexist) because most straight guys go a long very easily with the bi girl fantasy. Most straight girls don’t go along with the bi guy fantasy though, not saying some aren’t totally into it.

So, the questions you need to work out is how you can be both bisexual and in a committed relationship. Not all committed relationships have to be monogamous (personally I think monogamy is whack and honesty about who you play with and safe play is key), but that is where you really need to keep the lines of communication open. Also, you have to not delude yourself about rather you will be happy in a same sex or different sex coupling that is exclusive.

On top of all of this, it probably doesn’t help that a good 50% (or more) of gay guys would love to be able to have the straight life and the stepping stone for a good 90% (or more) of gays coming out is to say they are bisexual first. I guess, people just don’t understand that you can be totally into both. People like Jenna Jameson and Tommy D XXX do it every day, but in the real world, most people look at the fact that you can be with a woman and think you should be on both the gay and straight side of the aisle.

]]> By: DexX http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2009/03/15/bi-now-gay-later-staring-down-a-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-3812 DexX Thu, 09 Apr 2009 07:08:08 +0000 http://www.bitheway.co.uk/?p=264#comment-3812 p.s. A friend of mine wrote a song about bisexuality called Getting Bi, and recorded it with me doing guest vocals. It's a fun, catchy pop song with a positive attitude. Every chorus features the lines "Got no time to live a lie, I'm too busy getting bi" and "I can't help it, I just love people!" It's become kind of anthemic for me these days. :) p.s. A friend of mine wrote a song about bisexuality called Getting Bi, and recorded it with me doing guest vocals. It’s a fun, catchy pop song with a positive attitude.

Every chorus features the lines “Got no time to live a lie, I’m too busy getting bi” and “I can’t help it, I just love people!”

It’s become kind of anthemic for me these days. :)

]]> By: DexX http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2009/03/15/bi-now-gay-later-staring-down-a-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-3811 DexX Thu, 09 Apr 2009 06:56:21 +0000 http://www.bitheway.co.uk/?p=264#comment-3811 It may not be true for all bisexuals, but me, I'm attracted to people. If I find someone physically attractive, if I feel like we connect on an intellectual and emotional plane, if I hold them and they just smell _right_, then quite frankly I don't much care what happens to be hidden in their underpants. I suspect this is the definition that will liberate and legitimise bisexuality in the future. Rather than being seen as deluded or transitioning gays, or heartless, homewrecking sluts, I want bisexuality to be seen as people who just love people, skipping gaily across established gender boundaries. Wouldn't that be great, being defined by how freely you love? It may not be true for all bisexuals, but me, I’m attracted to people. If I find someone physically attractive, if I feel like we connect on an intellectual and emotional plane, if I hold them and they just smell _right_, then quite frankly I don’t much care what happens to be hidden in their underpants.

I suspect this is the definition that will liberate and legitimise bisexuality in the future. Rather than being seen as deluded or transitioning gays, or heartless, homewrecking sluts, I want bisexuality to be seen as people who just love people, skipping gaily across established gender boundaries.

Wouldn’t that be great, being defined by how freely you love?

]]> By: ben http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2009/03/15/bi-now-gay-later-staring-down-a-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-3139 ben Wed, 25 Mar 2009 22:15:07 +0000 http://www.bitheway.co.uk/?p=264#comment-3139 I know that people don't become asexual just randomly but when you go into triple digits (roughly) your brain loses functionality as if it unlearns things you may not know what sex is anymore. I know that people don’t become asexual just randomly but when you go into triple digits (roughly) your brain loses functionality as if it unlearns things you may not know what sex is anymore.

]]> By: adam http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2009/03/15/bi-now-gay-later-staring-down-a-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-3042 adam Tue, 24 Mar 2009 17:44:01 +0000 http://www.bitheway.co.uk/?p=264#comment-3042 sorry that my first comment here is a bitchy comeback to another commenter but, here goes. if we're dispelling myths and stereotypes here, can we also not buy into the totally false idea that old=asexual. sexuality and sexual attraction does not disappear after 50. i don't know any 113 year olds, but i've met some pretty randy octogenarians. i liked the post btw. sorry that my first comment here is a bitchy comeback to another commenter but, here goes.

if we’re dispelling myths and stereotypes here, can we also not buy into the totally false idea that old=asexual. sexuality and sexual attraction does not disappear after 50. i don’t know any 113 year olds, but i’ve met some pretty randy octogenarians.

i liked the post btw.

]]> By: Tiresias http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2009/03/15/bi-now-gay-later-staring-down-a-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-2788 Tiresias Wed, 18 Mar 2009 00:58:15 +0000 http://www.bitheway.co.uk/?p=264#comment-2788 Hi Ben, You're right, myths aren't going away any time soon. If we can't get rid of myths completely, at least we can present an alternative to the stereotypes. Tiresias Hi Ben,

You’re right, myths aren’t going away any time soon. If we can’t get rid of myths completely, at least we can present an alternative to the stereotypes.

Tiresias

]]> By: ben http://www.bitheway.co.uk/2009/03/15/bi-now-gay-later-staring-down-a-myth/comment-page-1/#comment-2756 ben Sun, 15 Mar 2009 23:36:35 +0000 http://www.bitheway.co.uk/?p=264#comment-2756 the myths about bisexuality wont go away, they exist because people like to beleive them to stop them from questioning their own orientation my guess is it will be gone in 200 years or so because even if the world leaders stopped all discrimination tommorow there would still be predjudice and it would take a few generations to get the close minded teachings out of circulation, basically its not going to happen in anyones lifetime, even if you i do live to see it i would be 113 and have no sexual attraction whatsoever so I wouldn't benefit from it the myths about bisexuality wont go away, they exist because people like to beleive them to stop them from questioning their own orientation

my guess is it will be gone in 200 years or so because even if the world leaders stopped all discrimination tommorow there would still be predjudice and it would take a few generations to get the close minded teachings out of circulation, basically its not going to happen in anyones lifetime, even if you i do live to see it i would be 113 and have no sexual attraction whatsoever so I wouldn’t benefit from it

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