Bi The Way

I get an increasing number of emails from distraught women who have just found out their boyfriend or husband is bisexual. For some this obviously creates issues for their relationship, but for most the biggest issue seems to be that their boyfriend won’t talk about his bisexuality with them.

I feel for these women, because they genuinely do love their boyfriends and they do have valid questions they need to ask and get answers to. But their men won’t talk to them. Why not?

My theory is that a lot of men are still closet about their bisexuality and feel uncomfortable talking about with people who know them as straight. The anonymity of dating web sites, message boards and text services allows them to express their bisexuality in a relatively safe environment which won’t impact on their otherwise straight lives. This provides an outlet for their bisexuality without presenting the problem of gaining acceptance from friends and loved ones.

But even after these guys have come out (or been found out), they refuse to discuss their bisexuality, perhaps they feel it emasculates them? Or perhaps they just want to keep it private and separate from their heterosexual love lives?

I’d like to hear from guys in this situation to find out exactly why. But know that silence is not a good thing, not once you are out to your girlfriend, it confuses them. If you refuse to speak to them about it, they immediately worry that you are going to leave them for a man.

Equally, guys I know that you worry, that once your girl knows about your bisexuality, she is going to leave you. But invariably she just wants to understand. Its when she doesn’t fully understand, when she’s uncertain and when she feels you aren’t being 100% honest an open with her that she is in danger of leaving you. So boys please when it comes to your girlfriends, don’t hold back, your girl needs to know.