Bi The Way

The Pope’s end of year address has angered LGBT groups as Pope Benedict XVI made a clear rejection of Gender Theory. Gender theory explores sexual orientation and the roles assigned to individuals by society according to gender.

The address follows the Vatican’s refusal to endorse a UN sponsored universal declaration to decriminalize homosexuality. And is the latest in a number of anti-gay statements from the Roman Catholic Church. To quote from the pope’s address:

“We need something like human ecology, meant in the right way. The Church speaks of human nature as ‘man’ or ‘woman’ and asks that this order is respected.”

This belies the Pontiff’s preference for “traditional” gender roles and with it heterosexual relations. In fact the statement goes further. In asking that this traditional male-female world vision is respected, he is actively opposing, both equal opportunities for men and women and same-sex relationships.

Pope Benedict goes on to explicitly oppose the individuals right to self-identify, not just their gender, but their gender’s role in society.

“What is often expressed and signified with the word ‘gender’ leads to the human auto-emancipation from creation and from the Creator. The human being wants to make himself on his own and to decide always and exclusively by himself about what concerns him.

“But, in so doing, the human being lives against the truth and against the Spirit creator. Rain forests deserve, yes, our protection but the human being – as a creature which contains a message that is not in contradiction with his freedom but is the condition of his freedom – does not deserve it less.”

This extract of the speech closes with the (un)holy father suggesting that people who want to adopt a “non-standard” gender role need saving from themselves. Once again the Catholic Church is trying to exert mass mind control, suggesting first that adopting non-traditional gender roles is counter productive and second that as individuals we shouldn’t have the right to decide our path for ourselves.

These must rank as some of the most autocratic utterances to come out of the Vatican since the Inquisition.

Naturally LBGT groups have reacted with outrage, but I’m surprised there hasn’t been a bigger response from women’s groups. It would seem that as well as his objection to same-sex relationships, Herr Ratzinger wants all women to go back to being birthing machines as proscribed by the old testament.

My first reaction is “This man needs to be stopped!”, but on reflection, the Pope is the architect of the church’s downfall. Whilst this type of rhetoric might appeal to die-hard conservatives, it will cause the majority of free thinking Catholics will begin to question whether the path to god lies with this man.

Photo Credit: Janusz Stachoń
License: Creative CommonsAttribution ShareAlike 2.5

A recently tabled resolution put before the United Nations aimed at decriminalising homosexuality and explicitly extending the universal declaration of human rights to include protection against discrimination, persecution and imprisonment based on sexual orientation has split the UN.

The resolution sponsored by France and The Netherlands was backed by 66 nations including the UK, but was opposed by 60 member states. The bulk of the opposition came from African and Arab States and of course the Vatican. The United States of America were the only major western country not to explicitly back the resolution.

It would seem that much of the world is not yet ready to accept lesbian, gay or bisexual orientations and  wishes to continue to discriminate against us. Homosexuality is still illegal in some 80 countries and homosexual acts between men still carry the death penalty in Saudi Arabi and Iran.

Countries opposing the resolution claimed that legalising homosexuality would “normalise paedophilia”. I don’t know about you, but I’m spitting nails at that statement!

Photo Credit: Steve Cadman – Creative Commons Share-alike Attributiion

There’s been a flurry of activity on my post “How to talk to your bisexual boyfriend“, for obvious reasons this is attracting comments from women, who have just discovered or at least suspect that their boyfriend is bisexual. Whist obviously this is a difficult thing for anyone to deal with, I have to admit to been a little amused by the almost 50:50 split between those that say: “At least if he’s interested in men I don’t have to worry about him running off with another woman” and those that say “Great! Now I’ve got to be jealous of men as well as other women.”

What wonderfully flawed female logic this is.

The first group seem to be confusing being bisexual with being gay, assuming they are the special person keeping us straight. The second group seem to confusing being bisexual with being a man-slut and must have a pretty low opinion of themselves if they are so jealous of everyone.

I think though what this illustrates (and guys take note) is that women want us to make them feel special. The first group by equating our bisexuality to homosexuality have already singled themselves out a special, in their eyes they are now the only girl we have eyes for. Truth is we probably never had eyes for anyone else before we came-out, but try convincing her of that before she assumed you were gay. But at least now when she catches you eyeing up a passing skirt you can plausibly claim that you just liked her dress.

Actually there is perhaps more logic to this I’m giving credit for. She’s probably hoping that you’ll burn off the excess sexual energy that women seem to assume men have by shagging other blokes, and as such, she doesn’t have to worry about you having a fling with another girl. What this does though is effectively grants us a license to go out and sleep with as many men as we like provided we return to her arms for our female pleasures. As this will suit most straight-leaning bisexuals, my advice: don’t dispel the myth, let her feel special.

The other women, the ones that are now jealous of everyone. Have some serious self-esteem issues, and I’m sorry, but you as her boyfriend are probably partly to blame for that. No-one who’s gone before you, not family, friends or previous boyfriends has taken the time to make this girl feel special and you haven’t made a big enough effort to convince her you’re not like all the other jerks. So you really have your work cut out.

The truth is most guys do love their wives or girlfriends, we’re just not always very good at showing it. This is really because men’s brains are wired differently to women’s and we don’t see the point of romantic gestures like buying flowers or little courtesies like not leaving the toilet seat up. But to a woman these things tell them that her man is thinking about her and that makes her feel special.

And that my friends, is the secret to a successful relationship. Make your girl realise just how special she is to you.

OK, now when I next get myself hitched, will someone tell me to re-read this post for myself?

Recently I’ve been wondering if I might actually be asexual rather than bisexual. You see, my physical and emotional attraction to people of both sexes still remains, but my sex-life has once again ground to a halt. In fact its gotten so bad I actually went and looked up the definition of asexuality to see if I really was.

Whilst can’t say I’m inundated with requests, I know I can head down to my local gay cruise zone and get myself a man almost any night of the week, I’m still young enough to be considered a decent score by any of the middle aged German tourists we’ve got hanging around. But with all due respect, that feels like prostituting myself and I’m not in that game. Not yet…

On the female front things are not looking much better. I split up with my last girlfriend months ago. I ended it. I said at the time it was because I didn’t want get anyone’s hopes up on a relationship that I could see had no chance of becoming permanent, but looking back it had just as much to do with my sexual apathy.

Still I should probably draw a line before calling myself asexual because I still am interested in having sex and I still respond to sexual partners when I chose to have them (and they choose to have me). I just don’t have a burning desire to get laid every night. Or even every week for that matter.

Maybe my sex-drive has waned because I’m suffering from another bout depression, maybe its because I  really don’t want the complications of a relationship at the moment and I have a natural aversion to one night stands.

Honestly? I’m not sure, but its getting hard to blog about sexuality when I’m currently not having sex. As a borderline asexual, I feel somewhat like a fraud. Though at least I might dispel the myth that all bisexuals are sex-crazed nymphomaniacs.