I’m kind of a freak in that I am attracted to “hot” women (women most of society deems hot), fat girls, older women…pretty much anything with a good shape. I am also attracted to pretty much any kind of man. The point is this: I think most people have some skeletons in their closets when it comes to sex, and needless to say I have a whole cemetery in mine. Some men are chubby chasers or like to have their butts played with or etc etc. However, I have never been unfaithful to my wife with anyone of the opposite or same sex and don’t feel the need to…she satisfies me completely. I don’t want to know her skeletons and I surely won’t tell her mine. She might be a little (or a lot) freaked out, as would everyone else in my life.

I am sorry to any gay guys as it might seem as though I am keeping your fight for equal rights at a halt. It just isn’t necessary in my life to let this secret out. It isn’t my fight to fight. Also, keeping a secret makes it more fun…I feel like a stupid kid when I go into a gay porn store and bring african american porn to the hot black guy at the counter and get that little look from him…but I get that same rush from women, my wife included. It’s just a guilty pleasure of mine, as I think it might be for most straight-leaning bi guys. For instance, I frequent a gay porno theater with private booths, but I get a rush from being in the room with all the guys, watching the moive, then taking care of myself in one of the booths in the back (by myself, of course). It’s pretty much the same thing as the guy who tells his wife he is playing poker while he is really getting a lap dance at the local titty bar.

Being bi can be a little scary at first, but is pretty simple and a lot of fun when you come to terms with it! In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with keeping it quiet, as long as you can handle it.

If it’s any consolation, I understand your sense of feeling grossed out by what your boyfriend is asking of you. I have never found the idea of anal sex at all appealing, and have in the past had to have some delicate conversations with guys who really wanted me to do that for them. I think respect for each others’ boundaries is essential in any relationship: don’t feel obliged to do things you’re not comfortable with just to please your boyfriend.

A desire for anal penetration does not make someone gay. Or even bisexual.

My advice: head to the sex shop buy a double ended strap-on and shag each others brains out. It might add a new dimension to your love-life. Just remember to buy some lube too!

If you are worried about messiness you can purchase stuff at a pharmacy to clean him out first.

My boyfriend is always pressuring me for anal sex. Not just on my end, but he wants me put my fingers in his backside. Sorry folks, but this grosses me out.

I told him I would be willing to go to the sex shop and see what we could find to “experiment.” I am willing to try to please him, in that he is 50 and thinks he is suffering from male menopause, having difficulty maintaining erections, feeling aroused, etc.

Last nite something happened that was beyond wierd.
We were spooning, and beginning to have sex.
He pulled me closer to him and said ” put your cock”…..then he stopped for a minute, as if he realized what he had said. Then he repeated “put your cock inside of me.”
I know I sound stupid to ask if he is gay. I guess at this point it is OBVIOUS……………..it was like, instead of saying the wrong persons name, he said the wrong piece of equipment. He lived in Vegas for years and used to be very promiscuous, but has told me he has settled down and is now wanting to be in a monogomous relationship.
We have even discussed marriage!!!

All day it has been creeping me out, hearing hiim say “put your cock………” and then stopping, like he was horrified, then a moment later almost covering it up…..but not very well, as he just continued on and said “put your cock insiide of me.” Now my mind is wanting to think:
he was just wording what he wanted me to say????
yeah right. Please, any feedback?????????

I’ve just stumbled across this site (and despite being a bisexual woman, boy am I glad I did!) and wanted to say how incredible an experience it is for me to find people voicing the opinion of the ‘minority within a minority’.

I’m a bisexual woman in a committed relationship with a man, as like you I suppose you would call me ‘alternating’. However, I’m active in the queer life at my university campus, and am an executive member of the social group. You’re right about the prejudices you can meet, but I’ve also found that the other members of the university community are more than willing to use me as a sort of poster child to encourage others to approach us. All in all, I just wanted to say that I really do appreciate what you’re doing here, and how much it means to all of us!

I think there is such a thing as “Bi” however I would never ever knowingly date a bisexual again.

I don’t think there is anything anymore more confusing then being a bi guy. I grew up suppressing gay thoughts but I always know I was different in that i think guys are hot and i don’t like all the things other guys like, but also I do not fit the gay stereotype either i.e well organized, metro, flamboyant.

Also I don’t think its a choice or preference. I know that I find guys hot and would like to form sexual/emotional relationships with them but the same goes for girls too. It would be much easier less confusing if I only had these feelings for one sex but thats not the case thats just the way it is.

If only we wore badges, there would be an easy way to tell.

There are no sure-fire to identify people who are closet bisexual or closet gay. Come to think of it, its hard enough to identify people who are out and proud, because contrary to popular belief we don’t go around screaming it from rooftops. (Except once a year during pride marches.)

Going to gay-bars and nightclubs is a good safe place to meet other like minded men, there are unlikely to be any straight men in these bars, so you can be pretty sure all the men will be gay or bi.

Another great place is the internet sites like manhunt.com are ideal for meeting random strangers.

But as far as discovering people within your community or your circle of friends, that’s hard. But statistically 1 in 20 men will share your desires. So you almost certainly know men your own age and within your own community who are gay or bisexual. You might not know who they are, but know that they are there!

A final though… a bit of fun really…
My brother did got some “Smile if you Gay” T-shirts printed – perhaps wearing one of those is the answer?

Now, I am with a woman and very happy. I cant say that i don’t enjoy the thought of defiling a man from time to time, but i am happy with this one girl whom is the love of my life.

I am a handsome gay guy and I love going to “straight” bars.

In my own personal experience, the number of closeted gay men in “straight” bars ( and everywhere else for that matter ) is astronomical. These guys are the most sexiest, masculine guys you could ever see and most of them have girlfriends, husbands and kids.

Guys will check me out, make eye contact, and grope their crotches right in front of me … IT”S UNBELIEVABLE !

As you can imagine, the nasty dirty looks I get from women is not good. If looks could kill, I would have been dead decades ago.

It’s so very sad that most men have to lie about their beautiful natural attraction for other men.

“HONESTY IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF LOVE !”

Your sexual orientation is a permanent part of your DNA. The way you behave is a complex part of your community, family upbringing, religious beliefs, etc. So you can play the field as a bisexual, but your orientation at the end of the day is either gay or straight.