Jul 31 2008
I’m about to fulfil a bisexual stereotype
Well it looks like I’m about to fulfil a bisexual stereotype. I’ve finally organised a second date with the girl I met last week, let’s call her “V” and although I’m probably going to enjoy her company tonight, I really don’t have much interest in taking her home and falling into bed with her. In fact to be honest, the prospect of straight sex is not a turn on for me at all right now. (Yeah I know I’m swinging again, my “straight-streak” has ended.)
Its not her, its just that the past two days I’ve found myself far more turned on by the thought of bedding a guy than a girl. Well it is her, in a way, she cancelled and re-scheduled so many times, that I started to wonder whether or not she was really interested. I was also reminded how much easier it can be to understand men than women.
My last girlfriend played little games, like cancelling a date to see if I would chase her for a follow-up and I started to wonder if “V” was doing the same. Its pretty tiresome as you plan your week around a date, decline invites from mates then when she cancels you wind up doing sod all by yourself. My experience with guys isn’t broad enough to say that men don’t play these silly little games, only that I’ve never been close to a guy that did. This realisation is ultimately what ended my straight-streak.
So I’m once again yo-yoing and about to fulfill the bisexual stereotype that we can’t be happy just shagging one person, we are always looking accross the other side of the fence. Of course this isn’t true, it just looks that way, because I’ve been irritated and frustrated by trying to land this second date with “V”.
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ALL of my lovers have been and still are BIsexuals. There must me a reason. I try to understand and explain it on my web site.
you are just sexually fluid and/or questioning, nothing wrong with that. just follow your heart oh and your cock
That’s alright, I feel the same way at times. I find nothing pleasing to the eye about a vagina, but that doesn’t stop me from liking the female body.
Also, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, and we’ve never had sex. I want to, of course, but I’m keeping myself under control. Mom said “if you don’t want children yet, don’t have sex yet.” And it’s true, she had me at 19, and I have a brother two years older than me.
VERTiGO
You sound like a nice guy and I admire you self-restraint, and whilst I don’t want to encourage you to have sex with your girlfriend until you are both ready, there are ways to have sex that don’t involve making babies.
Just use protection, either you use a condom, or get your girlfriend to start taking the pill. (Condoms are Free in the UK.) Alternatively just enjoy non-penetrative sex, ie: oral, you can both have a lot of fun that way. Not wanting babies is not really a good reason for abstinence.
bitheway
Lol, I’m allergic to most condoms, actually.
but that’s not the only reason why we dont do anything. She’s just not interested, and I’d do nothing to lose her, so I dont invoke.
Thanks for the compliment :3
VERTiGO
After two years she probably isn’t interested anymore. She might even be looking around for other guys and just not telling you. That or she just stopped expecting you to try. Seriously man you need to get out there and get laid. Just because you are bisexual doesn’t mean you can’t act like a man in the most brutal sense from time to time. Don’t be scared, be the man. But don’t be too aggressive though if you know what I mean. You don’t want to rape a girl. She has to be ready too.
VERTiGO
I think Michael’s tone is a little strong, a relationship can be built around more than sex. If you are happy with your girlfriend and she’s happy with you then that’s fine.
Of course we all have needs to fulfil, so there will come a point when you will have to discuss this with your girlfriend and address this aspect of your relationship. And after two years you shouldn’t feel that addressing will upset her.
In fact I’d say you are well within your rights to bring it up. You can’t walk on egg-shells about this kind of thing. But equally having an adult conversation about sex doesn’t have to involve pressuring the other person into having sex, respecting each others wishes and also more often, making the other person feel comfortable with the idea of intimacy are important parts of building a relationship.
Michael
If she is, she’s doing an excellent job hiding it. She’s even considered building upon our fake relationship while she cheats on me. I really… you know, I think it would just be easier to insult you instead.
bitheway
It’s not like I’ve never brought it up with her, you know? We’re young, and we just dont have time or need for sex. Everyone thinks it’s so strange that we can hold a relationship without it, even though neither of the two of us have even reached the age of consent. It just irritates me that the automatic responce to a two year relationship lacking sex is that she’s cheating on me. But yeah, we’ve talked about it, I know I desire it, and she claims to desire it, but there’s too much risk involved, especially in the aspect that we… well, come to think of it, we’ve never really been alone. The closest we’ve gotten is when I’m in her room. Her parents apparently dont believe in privacy. But that’s against the point. To sum it up, all I can really say is that sex is not required to lead a happy relationship.
Sorry if my tone was harsh also, other things have crawled up my ass today and I’m not really a joyful cup of sunshine at the moment.
Just to point out for other readers ages of consent vary widely between countries and states.
The age of consent is 16 in most US states with some preferring 17. There are half a dozen states including California, Oregon, Arizona, Wisconsin, Virginia and Tennesse where the age remains 18.
The age of consent in the UK is 16 and most European countries have lower ages of consent, most notably Spain, 13 and the Vatican just 12.
In the UK and Europe (EU) the ages of consent are now harmonized for straight and homosexual sex irrespective of gender. In the US the Supreme Court struck down all legislation that criminalised consensual homosexual acts, effectively normallising the age of consent for all sexual acts. However, some states have yet to revise their statutes so its unclear how this might be interpreted at state level.