I would probly be called effeminate and this seems to automatically attract the label of a homosexual, im more inclined to believe that my anima is a lesbian.

Sex is in itself so wrapped up in the rigours or procreation that true sexual bliss is probly repressed cause of the critical ###### out there, and our great liberated society. The fact is however men can get greater pleasure out of prostate stimulation so sexually all men are potentially gay.
the true match for anyone i believe reflects around the individuals need for dominence/submission and it’s central equality balance. i think if more people understood this fluctuating desire we would be a better planet. better than mercury any way.

Bi the way i am probly considered to be twin spirited because i have fractured my personality and can mimic nearly anything and keep my personality fluid, hehehe. i like to trip people out like this.
bruce lee says: be like water

i think michel foucault said that: ” the homosexual was created by homophobes inability to admit their own bisexuality.”
that pretty much summs it up
he he
we were once the kings

i have never seen gender in a person, just the person. being bisexual is confusing…to people who are not.

when i am in a relationship, it is always 1-1, i’ve never been with more than one person at a time, and have never roamed while in a relationship. faithful like an old dog, i am. i ask that the person i’m with accords me the same respect and does not cheat on me. all my loves agree going in that, should either of us feel a compulsion to be with someone outside our relationship, we will split 1st, then venture forth into a new endeavor with someone else.

my longest relationship was 23 yrs with a bisexual husband. i’ve also spent a few years happily celabate.

no matter what the label, just enjoy your life…waste not one heartbeat on bullshit.

Thanks for your insightful comments, its always nice to hear from people who find themselves in very similar circumstances to myself.

Big thanks to Queer Unity for blospotting me and sending me all this great traffic.

I think “alternating bisexuals” are far more common than perception would have it, but because people tend to assume that we’re homosexual or heterosexual based on who we’re with, it’s hard for us to be visible. But I have noticed that a lot of girls on the Shy-Bi forums are looking for the same thing you describe as common at Shy-Bi Guys. Having a boyfriend/girlfriend on the side is fine if everyone is ok with it, of course, and it’s not necessarily something I’d object to for myself, even though I tend to be monogamous. (I think one partner takes enough time and energy, like you say!) Thing is, having multiple partners is polyamory, which is not equivalent with being bi. I share your frustration with the misconception that bi folks are flighty, confused, promiscuous, unfaithful, etc. It makes it tougher to come out and to establish trust at the beginning of a relationship.

I wonder if a lot of bi non-monogamy doesn’t stem from people discovering/accepting their bisexuality later in life, after they’ve married or found long-term partners. If there was more awareness of and acceptance for bisexual orientation, I think people would have to struggle less with the conflict between expressing their full sexuality versus maintaining a long-term relationship. I myself didn’t figure my orientation out until I was over 25 and count myself lucky that I wasn’t committed already.

It tend to agree with first point, from a bisexual point of view all relationships are bisexual, “homo” and “hetero” are just tags to indicate the gender of our partner in relation to us. But I like your thinking.

On your second point, do we have a duty to correct people who assume we are straight or gay because we are in a committed relationship with a single person?

No, I don’t think so, its not our fault they’ve made an assumption about our sexuality. I’m sure most my friends assume I’m straight. Do I have to go around with a sign around my neck reading “bisexual”? Or every time I meet someone new should I introduce myself as bisexual?

Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups, its their assumption not mine. I’ve not misled anyone, I’ve just had people presume I’m something I’m not. And as for “monosexual benefits” - why shouldn’t I be treated with the same respect as other monosexuals? Why shouldn’t I get the same ‘benefits’ they do? After all its nothing short of what any bisexual deserves.

Do you think we have any responsibility to discourage any monosexual benefits? Of course, it applies mostly in the case of a bisexual involved with someone of the opposite gender - does he owe it to the bisexual community to correct those who assume he’s straight (or gay, on the flip side), or is it fair to let them assume?

I think guys have greater tendencies to be polyamorous anyway, irrespective of our sexuality, we’re biologically programmed to try and spread out seed around as much as possible. Monogamy does not come naturally to most men.

OK granted there are those of us that find it pretty easy, but I look around my mates and I think I’m the only one who’s never cheated on my partner.

I don’t think bisexual men are any more or less likely to be polyamorous than straight or gay men. But I think we move in circles where poly-relationships are more acceptable.