Jun 09 2008
Bisexual Apathy
Have you noticed that in some circles, bisexual intolerance has passed into a new phase? Its called “bisexual apathy”, it manifests itself as mock indifference towards someone’s sexuality, bred by columnists who declare with a tone of disinterest: “but everyone is bisexual these days!” The undertone is of course that bisexuality isn’t a real sexual orientation, just a cool new label, ‘bisexual chic’ is back.
Its designed to undermine bisexuals, to dismiss us, to punish us for being bold enough to declare a sexuality that no-body wants to admit exists because it doesn’t fit nicely in societies neat boxes.
With more and more people coming out, the new assault on bisexuality is to ignore it. This was highlighted in a recent report by Stonewall on discrimination in public services. The executive summary alone mentioned the words “gay and lesbian” over 50 times yet mentioned bisexual just once. Yet this is an organisation which is supposed to promote lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender rights.
OK – announce you are straight and that too is met with casual indifference, but bisexuality now (where its not met with revulsion and fear) seems to be met with ‘mock’ indifference. There’s a distinction, least of all because straight people are not still struggling for equal treatment and especially when bisexuality is constantly derided as a phase or a fashion statement by the media or seemingly wholly ignored by lobby groups like Stonewall.
Many bisexuals have come out from very dark places, suffering intensely from guilt, self doubt and low self-esteem, the last thing they need is to be treated with indifference or wilfully ignored. Would it be that hard to show a little love?
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5 Responses to “Bisexual Apathy”
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If what is seen in the media is reflective of people’s lives, then we would all be not just bisexual, but top models and crime scene investigators as well.
Sometimes I feel like the kid in high school who always wore argyle sweaters, but when they became popular, was accused of “following the trend.” Well, I’ll still be wearing my figurative sweater when the trend is gone. But in the meantime, it can suck.
Thanks for this post. How much do you think that ignorance has to do with this propensity to ignore?
I suppose the only thing to do is to hold out until this trend passes, too – they just can’t decide what to think of us, can they?
Personally, I don’t see this as true apathy. Like you said, I think it is dismissive, pure and simple. It’s always said in that same “yeah, right!” manner we’re all so used to. I think it all stems from other’s insecurities about their own sexuality. All homo and hetero people put in silent effort–some more than others, of course–to maintain those rigid categories. They have sexual thoughts that don’t jive with their sex-gender-identity combo package, but they keep that to themselves. Bisexuals don’t keep it to themselves, which kinda puts the lie to the dichotomy. The “fad” theory of bisexuality is just another way of maintaining the gay/straight narrative.
To be fair to Stonewall, they only claim to be an LGB charity and not to fight for trans rights (I think they should, but that’s beside the point). But I more than agree with you on their complete dismissal of bisexuals.