May 28 2008
13 breeds of bisexual
Did you know there are 13 different types of bisexuality?
No? Neither did I, but apparently there are 13 ways to pigeon-hole us. According to J.R. Little bisexuals can be categorised in terms of their sexual desires and experiences and include:
- Alternating Bisexuals - one relationship at a time, the first might be exclusively straight, the next exclusively gay and vice versa. Alternating Bisexuals are usually monogamous.
- Circumstantial Bisexuals - primarily heterosexual but bisexual because of circumstances, eg; Prison where there are no women/men available.
- Concurrent relationship Bisexuals - have a primary relationship with one gender, but may have multiple casual relationships with partners of the other gender.
- Conditional Bisexuals - will switch sexuality for personal gain, eg: Gay for Pay.
- Emotional Bisexuals - have intimate emotional relationships with both genders but only have sex with one gender.
- Integrated Bisexuals - have two or more concurrent primary relationships one with a man one with a woman
- Exploratory Bisexuals - testing the water seeing if they like it.
- Hedonistic Bisexuals -primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will switch purely for sexual pleasure.
- Recreational Bisexuals - bi only when drunk or high. “Party Bisexual”
- Isolated Bisexuals - currently straight or gay/lesbian - but has had one off sexual encounter in the past which qualifies them as bisexual.
- Latent Bisexuals - has strong yet so far unsatisfied urges to go the other way.
- Motivational Bisexuals - will go bi to satisfy a partner, e.g. straight women agreeing to MFF threesome.
- Transitional Bisexuals - the only type of bisexuality the gay community understands, the one “going through a phrase”.
Least that’s bisexuality according to J. R. Little. I’m going to mess the theory up in typical bisexual fashion by refusing to fit neatly into any of those 13 categories. In fact I’d have to describe myself as Latent-Alternating because my gay sexual exploration is incomplete and I swing between attraction to men and women yet would never want a poly-relationship.
What a surprise! Another bisexual fence-sitter!
If you enjoyed this post. Please share it with others by adding it to the following social bookmarking sites. This is greatly appreciated and doesn't go unnoticed. Just click the graphics below.
i dont think the comment on transitional bisexuals is fair, many gay people do recognize bisexuality as real.
http://queersunited.blogspot.com/
You’re right - it was tongue in cheek, but still almost every gay identified individual I’ve come out to has expressed doubts about the existence of male bisexuality and all end up mentioning the word “phase” - its become a cliché when discussing bisexuality and the gay community need to wise up to that.
Sure there are exceptions and some gay men do understand bisexuality, but they tend mostly to be gay men who have discovered a latent renewed interest in women after years of being exclusively gay. Still many gay men went through the transitional bisexual stage on their way to realising they were preferentially gay. For most the transitional stage is the only form of bisexuality they have personally experienced, its the only one they understand, consequently its the only one they acknowledge.
I think some people believe that those who are bisexual ‘can’t make up their mind’.
I also know that some other people think it’s a ‘phase of coming out’. One foot safely in the closet the other in the gay/lesbian world.
13, wow…how nice of him. No room for much individuality there.
category 14: just plain greedy!!!!!!!
I fall somewhere between an Isolated and a Hedonistic bisexual. I’ve had about four same sex experiences in my entire life starting at age 11 and now I’m 29.
I’m one of those bisexual guys who only takes interest in other guys every once in a great while. If given the choice between a guy and a girl, the girl would win every time, no question about it. I would never date a guy.
The only thing that sucks is when you are in a relationship with a girl and need to repress that bisexuality. I’d like to throw “Concurrent” in my mix if I could but my girlfriend won’t go for it.
so, now we not only have to label ourselves bi, but also choose from 13 categories of bi?
why is it that we need so many labels? so we make assumptions based on the package and don’t need to taste the content?
Academics (Pah) - always dissecting things and categorising them.
My view is that these categories are pointless - bisexuality is it own identity.
If categories are used for explaining incidents of bisexual behaviour I would suggest that at some time we may be passing through one or more of them as circumstances dictate.
So I would suggest a 15th and 16th categories - ‘Some of the Above’ and ‘None of the Above’. (Tongue in cheek)
But in the end Bisexuality is an orientation and not a response to circumstances.
I once worked with an extremely unorganized woman who thought she was organized because she stuck labels on everything. Her scissors had a sticker that said “scissors” on them. Her electric pencil sharpener said “pencil sharpener”. All useless. These 13 labels are just more proof that sexuality cannot be categorized. Heck, most of them are by definition transitional! Sigh…
I think bisexuals should be excluded from having to choose a sexual stamp. We’ve probably all spent more time and energy trying to be gay/straight than gay and straight people do. And I’m sure I’m not the only one here who isn’t even entirely comfortable with the bi label, either. We deserve a break!
Huh.
Where does that leave a predominantly straight guy who enjoys crossdressing *specifically* to arouse and sexually satisfy himself and his sex partners?
My entire swath of bisexual experiences (about 4) have been centered around crossdressing, and being a submissive to dominant black men. It’s more of a kinky fetish, I suppose.
I have become so adept at crossdressing (makeup, lingerie, wig styling, mannerisms etc.) that most men that see my “en femme” pic and think I am truly a woman, and do not believe me until I am fully disrobed and my “extra benefit” makes a cameo, LOL.
My bisexual experiences have all been very positive, sexually fulfilling, and complete with intense orgasms.
I do not orgasm the same way as a “guy” with women I date.
Yet, I do not feel (at all) remotely attracted to any other men except black men, and only when I am dressed up.
Hi BiTrannyGuy
I guess technically that makes you a hedonistic bisexual, but don’t feel like you have to pigeon-hole yourself.
I wonder what label, society would put on my bi boyfriend?
He is constantly telling me, I am the one and only love of his life, yet we repeatedly have sex with same married man. My boyfriend tells both me and the m.man that he likes how it feels wrong to be “man handled”.
Actually, you fit perfectly in the first category - you alternate bewteen gay and straight, and you’re not poly.
It’s most bisexuals that don’t fit - the ones that don’t magically stop being attracted to one gender when they’re in a monogamous relationship (yay ogling). Seriously, what’s with “all bis are poly”?
Allie - I guess society would probably label you and your boyfriend as “swingers”, though he also fits into the “concurrent relationship bisexual” category, though I very much doubt you’d meet someone in the pub who would label him with such a convoluted tag.
Sam - re-read the post, I explain perfectly why I don’t fit.
we my wife and I definately fall into the hedonistice party bi-sexual category. People make to much out of pure fun that can be had by all. We are swingers and enjoy recreational sex. We both enjoy the wicked naughty aspect of a free for all. Then get back to our normal lives. She will kiss another woman whilst I dont find it a turn on. But Oral giving and receiving is fine. No anal for me. She loves to play with other woman and initiates most encounters so it is definately not under presure.
Guys life is about fun dont always turn harmless fun into lifestyle issues
Thank you for an intelligent and well thought-out post on this subject! I was rather dismayed when one of my normally intelligent friends started quoting this as if it explained anything, and I’m quite glad to see I’m not the only one who thinks it’s a pile of shite.
Hi Petra
Thanks for your kind remarks. I think that at the end of the day, the only boxes anyone fits neatly into are the ones they build around themselves. Self-identity and self-labelling are key.
That said, sometimes people are going to find that one of these “13 types” of bisexuality fit them rather neatly so I wouldn’t go as far as to throw the baby out with the bathwater, but equally I wouldn’t want anyone to feel they had to pick one of these definitions and then live up to it.