May 28 2008
13 breeds of bisexual
Did you know there are 13 different types of bisexuality?
No? Neither did I, but apparently there are 13 ways to pigeon-hole us. According to J.R. Little bisexuals can be categorised in terms of their sexual desires and experiences and include:
- Alternating Bisexuals – one relationship at a time, the first might be exclusively straight, the next exclusively gay and vice versa. Alternating Bisexuals are usually monogamous.
- Circumstantial Bisexuals – primarily heterosexual but bisexual because of circumstances, eg; Prison where there are no women/men available.
- Concurrent relationship Bisexuals – have a primary relationship with one gender, but may have multiple casual relationships with partners of the other gender.
- Conditional Bisexuals – will switch sexuality for personal gain, eg: Gay for Pay.
- Emotional Bisexuals – have intimate emotional relationships with both genders but only have sex with one gender.
- Integrated Bisexuals – have two or more concurrent primary relationships one with a man one with a woman
- Exploratory Bisexuals – testing the water seeing if they like it.
- Hedonistic Bisexuals -primarily straight or gay/lesbian but will switch purely for sexual pleasure.
- Recreational Bisexuals – bi only when drunk or high. “Party Bisexual”
- Isolated Bisexuals – currently straight or gay/lesbian – but has had one off sexual encounter in the past which qualifies them as bisexual.
- Latent Bisexuals – has strong yet so far unsatisfied urges to go the other way.
- Motivational Bisexuals – will go bi to satisfy a partner, e.g. straight women agreeing to MFF threesome.
- Transitional Bisexuals – the only type of bisexuality the gay community understands, the one “going through a phrase”.
Least that’s bisexuality according to J. R. Little. I’m going to mess the theory up in typical bisexual fashion by refusing to fit neatly into any of those 13 categories. In fact I’d have to describe myself as Latent-Alternating because my gay sexual exploration is incomplete and I swing between attraction to men and women yet would never want a poly-relationship.
What a surprise! Another bisexual fence-sitter!
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35 Responses to “13 breeds of bisexual”
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i dont think the comment on transitional bisexuals is fair, many gay people do recognize bisexuality as real.
http://queersunited.blogspot.com/
You’re right – it was tongue in cheek, but still almost every gay identified individual I’ve come out to has expressed doubts about the existence of male bisexuality and all end up mentioning the word “phase” – its become a cliché when discussing bisexuality and the gay community need to wise up to that.
Sure there are exceptions and some gay men do understand bisexuality, but they tend mostly to be gay men who have discovered a latent renewed interest in women after years of being exclusively gay. Still many gay men went through the transitional bisexual stage on their way to realising they were preferentially gay. For most the transitional stage is the only form of bisexuality they have personally experienced, its the only one they understand, consequently its the only one they acknowledge.
I think some people believe that those who are bisexual ‘can’t make up their mind’.
I also know that some other people think it’s a ‘phase of coming out’. One foot safely in the closet the other in the gay/lesbian world.
13, wow…how nice of him. No room for much individuality there.
category 14: just plain greedy!!!!!!!
I fall somewhere between an Isolated and a Hedonistic bisexual. I’ve had about four same sex experiences in my entire life starting at age 11 and now I’m 29.
I’m one of those bisexual guys who only takes interest in other guys every once in a great while. If given the choice between a guy and a girl, the girl would win every time, no question about it. I would never date a guy.
The only thing that sucks is when you are in a relationship with a girl and need to repress that bisexuality. I’d like to throw “Concurrent” in my mix if I could but my girlfriend won’t go for it.
so, now we not only have to label ourselves bi, but also choose from 13 categories of bi?
why is it that we need so many labels? so we make assumptions based on the package and don’t need to taste the content?
Academics (Pah) – always dissecting things and categorising them.
My view is that these categories are pointless – bisexuality is it own identity.
If categories are used for explaining incidents of bisexual behaviour I would suggest that at some time we may be passing through one or more of them as circumstances dictate.
So I would suggest a 15th and 16th categories – ‘Some of the Above’ and ‘None of the Above’. (Tongue in cheek)
But in the end Bisexuality is an orientation and not a response to circumstances.
I once worked with an extremely unorganized woman who thought she was organized because she stuck labels on everything. Her scissors had a sticker that said “scissors” on them. Her electric pencil sharpener said “pencil sharpener”. All useless. These 13 labels are just more proof that sexuality cannot be categorized. Heck, most of them are by definition transitional! Sigh…
I think bisexuals should be excluded from having to choose a sexual stamp. We’ve probably all spent more time and energy trying to be gay/straight than gay and straight people do. And I’m sure I’m not the only one here who isn’t even entirely comfortable with the bi label, either. We deserve a break!
Huh.
Where does that leave a predominantly straight guy who enjoys crossdressing *specifically* to arouse and sexually satisfy himself and his sex partners?
My entire swath of bisexual experiences (about 4) have been centered around crossdressing, and being a submissive to dominant black men. It’s more of a kinky fetish, I suppose.
I have become so adept at crossdressing (makeup, lingerie, wig styling, mannerisms etc.) that most men that see my “en femme” pic and think I am truly a woman, and do not believe me until I am fully disrobed and my “extra benefit” makes a cameo, LOL.
My bisexual experiences have all been very positive, sexually fulfilling, and complete with intense orgasms.
I do not orgasm the same way as a “guy” with women I date.
Yet, I do not feel (at all) remotely attracted to any other men except black men, and only when I am dressed up.
Hi BiTrannyGuy
I guess technically that makes you a hedonistic bisexual, but don’t feel like you have to pigeon-hole yourself.
I wonder what label, society would put on my bi boyfriend?
He is constantly telling me, I am the one and only love of his life, yet we repeatedly have sex with same married man. My boyfriend tells both me and the m.man that he likes how it feels wrong to be “man handled”.
Actually, you fit perfectly in the first category – you alternate bewteen gay and straight, and you’re not poly.
It’s most bisexuals that don’t fit – the ones that don’t magically stop being attracted to one gender when they’re in a monogamous relationship (yay ogling). Seriously, what’s with “all bis are poly”?
Allie – I guess society would probably label you and your boyfriend as “swingers”, though he also fits into the “concurrent relationship bisexual” category, though I very much doubt you’d meet someone in the pub who would label him with such a convoluted tag.
Sam – re-read the post, I explain perfectly why I don’t fit.
we my wife and I definately fall into the hedonistice party bi-sexual category. People make to much out of pure fun that can be had by all. We are swingers and enjoy recreational sex. We both enjoy the wicked naughty aspect of a free for all. Then get back to our normal lives. She will kiss another woman whilst I dont find it a turn on. But Oral giving and receiving is fine. No anal for me. She loves to play with other woman and initiates most encounters so it is definately not under presure.
Guys life is about fun dont always turn harmless fun into lifestyle issues
Thank you for an intelligent and well thought-out post on this subject! I was rather dismayed when one of my normally intelligent friends started quoting this as if it explained anything, and I’m quite glad to see I’m not the only one who thinks it’s a pile of shite.
Hi Petra
Thanks for your kind remarks. I think that at the end of the day, the only boxes anyone fits neatly into are the ones they build around themselves. Self-identity and self-labelling are key.
That said, sometimes people are going to find that one of these “13 types” of bisexuality fit them rather neatly so I wouldn’t go as far as to throw the baby out with the bathwater, but equally I wouldn’t want anyone to feel they had to pick one of these definitions and then live up to it.
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Good article! I had thought bisexuals are born in that way. I also heard about the same from some professional sites. Maybe it depends on how to define it.
If you appreciate the beauty in both men and women, and find yourself attracted to the person regardless of their gender,then you are bi. Many hot and sexy bi singles & couples on ** BiLoves dotcom ** are looking to explore their bisexuality,coming out or enjoying their lives as bi here.
If you don’t know whether You Are Gay, Lesbian Or Bisexual,you may check http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDjtVS9iaDA. The psychotherapist Dominic Davies will tell you the answer.
That’s a good video… the production is a bit dated in its style, but the message is exactly right.
Thanks for posting
[...] find the actual dissertation, but several people have cited her in their work here, here and here. Below are the 13 different types of bisexuality identified by [...]
i am a circumstantial, conditional hedonistic bisexual, but i dont do love, just friendship & sex
Dear Bitheway Administrators,
Could you elaborate on where to find more information on this ’13 Types of Bisexuality’ and J.R. Little. I tried googling for it, and couldn’t find appropriate links.
I don’t fit ANY of those, in fact I don’t think I’m even close to any of them.
I enjoy reading all the posts to things like this, it really truely helps me to realize… I DON’T NEED TO LABEL MYSELF
I go through random periods in my life where I enjoy sexual acts with men, but other than that I am a lesbian. I would choose an attractive girl over a guy any day. I have only been “in love” or even in relationships with women and really do not want to change that. I am a highly self analytical person; meaning I will analyze every part of my life till everyone around me including me wants to run screaming. Lately I have been more accepting of myself and trying to not be a gigantic ball of stress. This all connects with my deep desire to analyze and label myself as lesbian or bisexual. But now I am realizing that it really does not matter!!! I can just be me, because I am not anyone else and no matter how hard I try will never be anyone else. I do not need to fit into this perfect box of words that confines me to doing things a certain way, and if people ask me what I am I can explain my feelings, or just say I am human and I am me. People who disagree with my actions or choices because I don’t have a perfect label do not have to be around me I am not forcing them. I will go on for now enjoying me as I am: the great, smart woman who is slightly cynical but has huge goals, an even larger heart and an even larger desire to enjoy life (everything about it even the shitty moments)! I hope if you are in one of those self analytical confused times in your life, you can read this and just say screw it I am me and my decisions will reflect that; my choices will get me closer to my goals, and happiness will win!!!
lol Great I am tridecasexual: bisexual in all 13 categories
Very interesting indeed, it’s taken me 34 years to finally accept my own form of bisexuality after trying (and failing) to identify as being straight and then coming out and trying to identify as being gay. Neither of these identities have ever fit so after all these years of confusion, turmoil, uncertainty and sometimes just plain downright bloody awful advice, I KNOW I am bisexual and I KNOW this is a valid sexual orientation and not just some free-floating No-Man’s Land on the way to being gay……….
Oh, and many thanks to the media for all the bullshit, negativity and misconceptions that is broadcast about us.
Heartfelt thanks to http://www.shybi-guys.com which I would recommend to anyone (there’s also a forum for bi-girls) who are tormented by sexual confusion, it’s an awesome site packed full of great advice and wise Moderators.
On the categories, closest from this category for me would be I suppose Hedonistic Bisexual but it’s fluid.
I am the same as you are
Please help me find my category; I find all sexy people sexy. I have lived all of my life hetero, however a sexy guy turns me on a lot more than an “un-sexy” woman. Also I am excited by both male and female genitalia. I love breasts and curves but I don’t get off too much on TVs. (well some times, if they look good). I am especially excited by pyschological porn or fantasies. Give me a strange or different scenario and I’m totally wound up. I like latex, leather, domination (m or f) cuckolding, first time, forced, anything to do with control or loss thereof. I love women, all shapes and sizes and especially loose women. I think I am just someone who loves sex. By the way, the idea of kissing a guy makes me lose my hardon. (unless he’s forced). So go ahead freuds, figure me out. Thanks..
I dont like how u said transitional is the only form of bisexuality that gays understand im a lesbian who used to be transitional that doesn’t mean that i think thats the only type. I totally understand that many people don’t fit into a certain category.
William. You are “sexual” that’s all there is to it.
Hi Sara
The comment was some-what tongue in cheek. Don’t take it to heart.
I do not fit in any of the 13 either. I have only had long term relationships with men. My oppurtunities in meeting women for long term relationships are limited, so that could be why, I meet far more men than I do women. Although im not sure I would have realtionship with a women. I couldnt see myself spending the rest of my life with a girl. I havent ever had sex with a girl, but im by no means in the curious or exploritory as I know I like women and dont feel I need to have sex with one to prove it, and whne i meet someone I will I was in love with a women, nothing ever Happened. I have had experiences with women that could be classed as “hedonistic” or “recreational” or could fit in many other catogories. From about 17-19 I was more into girls. For the last 2 years its been primarily girls again. Normally when im single its girls. If im in a relationship in manogamous. I Fancy more famous men, then I do famous women and only fantasise about girls. Thats some where around bisexual I think lol iv realised that the label dont suit me , if people ask if im gay or straight i now say “im not straight” xx
After more thinking, could I be a Circumstantial bisexuals
I know I’m in a prison situation, but I thought I was in a situation of acting out being dominated by my girl friend and part of that was acting out being forced to suck and then being fucked
Could the domination cesion be circumstance?
Mostly lesbian but straight at times like right now!
[...] already read that there are give or take 13 different kinds of bisexuals out there. It makes sense if you believe that there's a large grey area for sexuality, [...]