Apr 20 2008
Winning over female friends
As a male bisexual, getting friends to understand your sexual orientation is sometimes quite tricky. Upon learning of my bisexuality no fewer than 3 of my friends, all female, have declared how they “can’t imagine ever wanting to sleep with a member of the same sex”. Concerned that this response showed a lack of empathy, I came up with a unique way of challenging this statement which is virtually guaranteed to win over female friends.
“OK”, I reply, “You can’t imagine wanting to sleep with a member of the same sex, can you imagine wanting to sleep with a guy?”
“Oh yes,” they say.
“Well then its straight part of me that you don’t understand.”
All of a sudden the penny drops and they realise that they now have something they empathise with you over that they didn’t have before learning you were bi. Its a great tip for getting straight female friends to understand your bisexuality.
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I don’t think you have to win over anyone…if you have to, then they’re not worth your friendship in the first place, so why bother?
Besides, respect is far more important than trying hard to please other people.
Some people jump to the wrong conclusions when they learn something new about people. However, as in this case this is often because they haven’t thought it through.
The first reaction of my female friends was a complete lack of understanding: “I can’t imagine ever wanting to sleep with a member of the same sex” they’d say. OK so they can’t imagine sleeping with a woman, fine, but that’s precisely what they thought I wanted to do when they thought I was straight.
So if you make them stop and thing about it, they’ll realise they probably understand you better now they know you are bi, because we now share something new in common, we both want to sleep with men.
That’s got to be worth the effort.
Just don’t try too hard to make the effort. You go through life meeting new people every time and some might stick around for a while while others might drop like flies. The difference is the ones who’ll stick with you after a certain period of time. They are the true friends and are worth gold (if not more). So keep your circle of valuable friends close and loose the dead weight.