I’m a 24-y.o. man who’s still unsure of his sexuality. To be honest, I haven’t had sex with a girl yet. And not for lack of trying. Let me try to explain.

My first intimate relationship was with a girl in college. Back then I was pretty certain that I was gay, but had to pretend, out of oh so many fears! But then I passed the “stiff dick” test on a number of occasions, just never happened to be the right time/place and we didn’t have sex. When the time to do it came up, however, I chickened out like a little bitch, afraid that my tool would fail me.

A number of “near-death” experiences later, and I earned the title of a mysterious and moody Heartbreaker, who played on girls’ feelings. Sad truth, there were just as many opportunities for me to explore the homosexual side of me as well, but I passed those up in gusto.

Then I was a celibate monk for awhile, gnawing at myself. It was a dark and lonely place. Until I got into a drunken thing with a guy. Surprise, surprise, it felt natural and kind of great (he was veeerrry knowledgeable of what he was doing), but I failed the “stiff dick” test. Blamed it on alcohol. However, when sober, I still could not get it up. He seemed very much into me, but the experience could not be repeated.

Now, from all this accumulated anxiety, I fear the intimate. I have fooled around with girls and guys after that, but it never really led to anything but half-hearted attempts at fellatio and (heavy) petting. I have almost come to terms with this kind of sexual lifestyle, until now. I am developing serious feelings for a (female) friend of mine, who knows my big secret and who seems to have made attempts at embracing it, as much as she can.

I want to start a serious relationship with her, finally after so many years of emotional loneliness. But I don’t want to scare her off or unpleasantly surprise her by admitting that she’ll be my first, well, everything. I know it’s in my head (I am adequate when it comes to wanking off to porn), and I know I want to be with her. At 24, I just don’t know how.

Sorry for the drone. I am trying to deal with my weird situation, and any help would be much appreciated.

P.S. BTW, I come from a country where losing one’s virginity before 20, be you a boy or a girl, is still unusual. Yes, there are those places on earth still.

My dilemma is that I’ve had a male acquaintance – barely a mate, even less a friend – for a couple of years now. Over the last year, our work (in next door offices) bought us closer together, but most of our contact is by phone. He calls me – a lot, and sometimes for the slightest of reasons even though he got married just under a year ago.

Recently, I have had crushingly strong feelings for him. He’s rugged, fit and kinda handsome, and has a terrific personality. He’s a wonderful father to his kid from his 1st marriage.

His wife was away recently, and we had a ‘guys’ night out, beers and a meal. When we got back to my place for a nightcap, it was a hot summer evening, and he was ‘glowing’ magnificently! How I didn’t just climb him like Everest I don’t know. A couple of things recently have led me to think that he MIGHT be bicurious, but either way I want to express my feelings for him when he returns from a business trip, and offer him my face for his lap, if and when he wants it.

I’m 52, he’s 43 and he occupies my thoughts every minute of every day. I am sure I absolutely love him, but would do nothing to offend him or harm his marriage. How sad is that? Life, eh?

Just from reading the posts here, you all seem wonderful, loving people. I hope you all find much happiness in life.

The short answer to your question is: “Only if you let it.”

If you still love each other, then it doesn’t have to change one bit.

David

I’m all out to listen, and really happy to keep chatting with you, but also you should consider joining this forum: http://www.shybi-guys.com/forum/

There are dozens of guys just like you and I who regularly post there, they’ll give you tones of feedback.

If you’re not up to that, well like I said, I’m always here.

I have been the aggressor in this relationship. He is a slim guy who stays in shape. I am a bear like guy who is not in great shape. When I first hugged him, he hugged back very forcefully. His head wound up on my shoulder & I decided to kiss him. He responded like any woman that I have kissed in my life. Except my first two girlfriends who were saving themselves for Christ.

He always wears the same pants when we meet. They accentuate his gorgeous ass and hug his basket. Nice presentation. When we were in the bathroom, I still had an erection that was outside my pants and pressing against his lower back while I fondled his cock. He had to feel it. Never said a word to me. I have always felt that he was enjoying the stroking. He never got hard but it did spasm a few times. I will tell you in honesty that , except for my early teen days when everyone was experimenting with each other, that his was the first cock I touched in my entire adult life. I loved the feeling I got from him as I stroked and talked to him. It was a phenominal feeling.

I am very long- winded but have been so excited about this relationship. Would you mind very much listening to me after our lunch next week. I will take your advice to proceed discretely, no matter how much I want him.

Nite,

Tom

It sounds like he’s very open to the idea, of slipping between the sheets with you, subject to your liaisons being private. But trust me, no guy who lets you fondle his cock is entirely straight. So I’d say you are ‘well in’ there.

If you decide to get a room, make it a twin, then he can feel like he’s keeping it private even from the hotel staff.

Take things slow and respect his preference not to be too overt in public.

I am meeting him for lunch again next week and plan to broach the subject of having some privacy at our next luncheon and get a room & order Room service. We generally split a bottle of wine at lunch and I can bring a bottle or two to the room. Do you think that he might be sharing the same fantasy? Am I pushing too hard. Please help me out.

Thank you,

Tom

Our day will come……….

Best,
TB

quite the same story here, but it was not with pictures but with a class-mate coming out naked from the shower after sports. i was about 17 at that time. am 47 now – outed myself with about 45….

so there you go – it can take that long

best – matthias