Apr 13 2008
Welcome
Welcome to Bitheway.co.uk – a blog exploring male bisexuality. If you’ve ever thought you might be gay, suppressed feelings for another guy, or felt uncomfortable with a gay identity then this site is for you. Whether you are confused about your sexuality or confident and want to “branch out” then hopefully you’ll find something in this blog which helps you take the next step.
I’m the editor and for the short term at least, the sole contributor to this weblog, however, in time I hope to encourage contributions from other writers and for readers to participate by posting comments and discussing the articles that are published.
If you enjoyed this post. Please share it with others by adding it to the following social bookmarking sites. This is greatly appreciated and doesn't go unnoticed. Just click the graphics below.
4 Responses to “Welcome”
Leave a Reply
Please write in good English, using correct spelling, punctuation and grammar. Please also capitalise your sentences correctly.
The SHIFT key is your friend.
Hi,
Still a working site?
Tom
Hi Tom
Yes very much so, sorry if you tried yesterday and found us off-line. We migrated the web site to a new server and had a little bit of a problem getting PHP to work.
David
To Whom It May Concern:
I have a dilema and I don’t know what to do anymore.
Im a bi male whom i believe i have strong feelings for my friend whom i’ve known for close to four years. I didn’t liked him at first but as we got to know each other i started seeing him more as a friend. All of our friends think we are going out or we may have something going on but we don’t. He is “straight” but when we are drunk we do things together as we play rough and we rub off each other among other things (sexual things) but thats only when we are drunk. Now its been tough cuz i now know i do like him and i want him as boyfriend and when we are drunk we talk about ourselves. I still can’t seem to tell him i really trully like him and i think he knows but he will not admit to it. What should i do? I really hope someone can help me out because i have not told anyone about my feelings.
Alex
Hi Alex,
Clearly your friend isn’t entirely “straight”. Being drunk lowers your inhibitions, it doesn’t alter your sexuality. You and your friend might think it gives you mutual deniability but it doesn’t. Alcohol, for its many faults does not have the power to make you queer.
The real question here isn’t whether or not friend is bisexual, but whether or not he’s ready to admit it.
There are two parts to coming out. (1) Coming out to yourself and ending your own self-denial and (2) Coming out to others, this is often a gradual process, usually first confiding in one or two sympathetic friends or family members first and extending out from there.
Your friend needs to be ready to handle both parts. Bear in mind that a lot of people don’t even realise that bisexuality exists, they think they have to be straight or gay, that causes a lot of problems for guys trying to admit their sexuality.
You say your friends think you are already a couple. I’m guessing, they must be fairly accepting of the idea? That ought to help a lot with getting your friend through part (2), but he’s got to admit his sexuality to himself first.
Now he might have already done this and be just as scared of broaching the topic as you are – I don’t know – and its difficult to give you any specific advice on how to proceed as I don’t know the nuances of your relationship.
Still, I’ll put a suggestion out there and you can decide if you think its a good way to proceed.
Next time you are alone together and drinking, before you get too smashed, why don’t you try telling him you enjoy it when you touch each other and that you don’t need to be totally wasted to enjoy it either.
You might also want to work in my opening line about alcohol not having the power to turn you queer, but be gentle, he might not be ready to handle his sexuality just yet.
Bottom line whatever feelings/desires he has for you are being suppressed. Alcohol lowers his inhibitions and lets him express them. You just need to find a way to stop him suppressing himself that doesn’t involve getting blotto.